Postpartum Depression: What is it and how to move forward?

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Your body is in the room, but your mind is floating in the clouds. 

You love your baby, but you just need a moment away. 

No one understands the polar tug of so much love and so much sadness. 

The days mesh into each other, late nights, early mornings, midday naps.

Baby is crying again - you sigh out of exhaustion - baby only wants you. Baby only needs you. 

You think, how can something be so dependent on me? I’m touched out. 

Does anyone see me? See my struggle?

Here I go crying again, in my hot shower, the only moment I have to myself.

I can’t ask for help, I’m supposed to be able to do this on my own.

While these feelings are common as a new mom, they are by no means something that should be experienced alone. Postpartum depression (PPD) is experienced by 1 in 7 moms, within the first year after giving birth. Thoughts like those mentioned above, along with the list of signs below, are all indicators that you could be struggling with PPD. Suicide rates in women postpartum are said to be at 20% of postpartum deaths, causing this to be the second most common cause of death for women after having a baby.

If you, or anyone you know is in crisis, please contact your local or national emergency or crisis support services immediately. 

What is Postpartum Depression? 

Postpartum depression occurs within the first year after giving birth. Postpartum depression looks similar to typical depression, however, the main distinction is that it occurs after childbirth. Some risk factors for postpartum depression include a history of depression, lack of support, isolation, life stressors, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, complications with pregnancy or birth, mothers of multiples, infertility treatment, women with type 1 or type 2 diabetes, and a thyroid imbalance. Click here to see our Clinical Director talk about Postpartum Depression and baby blues with a local lactation consultant.

It’s normal to feel exhausted, dysregulated, and anxious after having a baby, and signs of depression are often missed in new moms because big changes in sleeping patterns, interests, energy levels, moods, and eating patterns are a regular part of early motherhood. However, postpartum depression will intensify those types of negative feelings to a point where it becomes difficult to take care of yourself and/or your baby. Therefore, your and/or your baby’s safety is at potential risk. 

What does it look like? View this video.

Do I Have Postpartum Depression? 

Symptoms of postpartum depression can vary from person to person and may even vary day to day. You may have postpartum depression if: 

  • Feeling sad or crying a lot, even when you don’t know why.

  • Exhausted, but you can’t sleep.

  • Sleeping too much.

  • Can't stop eating, or you aren’t interested in food at all.

  • Various unexplained aches, pains, or illnesses.

  • Unexplainable irritability, anxiety, or anger.

  • Moods change suddenly and without warning.

  • Feeling out of control.

  • Difficulty remembering things.

  • Having a hard time concentrating or making simple decisions.

  • No interest in things you used to enjoy.

  • Feeling disconnected from your baby and wonder why you’re not filled with joy like you thought you’d be.

  • Everything feels overwhelming and hopeless.

  • You feel worthless and guilty about your feelings.

  • Fearful of opening up to anyone because they’ll think you’re a bad mother or take your baby, so you withdraw.

  • You want to escape from everyone and everything.

  • Having intrusive thoughts about harming yourself or your baby.

  • Your friends and family may notice that you’re withdrawing from them and from social activities or that you just don’t seem like yourself.

You can also take our FREE quiz to see if you are struggling with postpartum depression.

Postpartum Depression Treatment

Postpartum depression is a mental health illness and it must be taken seriously. If you are experiencing thoughts of wanting to harm/kill yourself or your baby please contact your local or national crisis support services immediately.

When treating postpartum depression, therapy and possible medication can provide some relief. Sometimes medication can be scary to consider. If you have questions about medication to treat postpartum depression, contact a reproductive psychiatrist to discuss more.

Therapy can provide a space for you to explore the strong emotions surrounding your experience of postpartum depression with a trained professional equipped with the tools to support you in your journey of wellness. 

How to Deal with Postpartum Depression

Going through the actions of everyday life can become overwhelming and daunting when you’re struggling with postpartum depression. Here are some suggestions to help you navigate your life at this time: 

  • Communicate with your loved ones and support systems. Ask for help. 

  • Make self-care a priority. When you’re caring for yourself and filling your cup up, you have space and capacity to care for others and fill their cups up as well. 

  • Create a routine that works for you. This may take some rearranging of usual responsibilities from your partner, but it should be a mutual agreement that supports you both. 

Struggling with postpartum depression can be a lonely moment in your life. But, you’re not alone - there are others out there who have been in your shoes and there are people out there who are longing to support you in motherhood. Please reach out for support when you need it.